That Doesn't Make It Easy

For the past few weeks, our pastor has been preaching about loving well and what it means to be true community to each other.  Two weeks ago he preached about "loving stupid people" and talked about how each of us is "stupid" from time to time.  We're stupid when we fall into the same sinful traps over and over again.  We're stupid when we are rude and short tempered.  We're stupid when we ignore the presence of God in our lives and instead focus on all that we don't have and our discontent.  We're stupid when the choices we make destroy ourselves or our relationships.  We're all stupid from time to time.

In order to love stupid people (and hopefully be loved in return when we're stupid), we may need to speak the truth to them.  We may need to call them on their stupidity.  Or, we may just need to take the time to ask them how they are and really listen.  Maybe there's something more to their stupidity.  Maybe they are pessimistic because they can't allow themselves to believe that they deserve good things.  Maybe they drink too much or don't smile enough or are critical and grumpy because of a deep hurt they've endured.  And maybe if we take a minute to ask and to truly listen, we just might find a way to gently restore them into optimism or even joy.

I've had a rough couple of weeks on a lot of levels, and there is someone in my life who is especially hard to love right now.  This person is (dare I say it out loud) stupid.  I think that in the past several weeks, I believe I have specifically referred to this person as an idiot, crazy, incapable, and a host of other lovely and Christian things.  (Yeah, right.)  God brought all of this to mind as I sat cringing my way through the sermon.  And He told me that I don't get to speak harshly about this person or be impatient in our dealings or be proud about how I have it all together and this person doesn't.  It totally sucked.  But I prayed, and I began my dealings with this person with this new and humble heart.  I thought that maybe if I approached our dealings with love and humility, then maybe I would have the opportunity to ask--and really mean--"Are you okay?  Because there seems to be a lot going on with you."

I wish I could say I've been perfect at it.  I haven't.  I'm truly a work in progress.  The occasions I had to talk with this person over the past week have been markedly different--in my mind and attitude at least.  I don't know if this person felt any different about me or my attitude, but I certainly did.  I forced myself God gave me the ability to see this person through His eyes and as someone that He created in His own image and died for.

But boy, it was not easy.

I was reminded that just because it's right does not make it easy.  Just because I decided to change my attitude and approach doesn't mean anyone else around me did.  And it didn't make the person less "stupid."  Recently a friend of mine and I had a conversation about another friend we needed to "confront" with humble and loving truth.  We needed to do it, because we were the only people who could, and it had to be done.  So I gave an early morning pep talk and then made my friend do it--while I stayed behind praying, of course.  She did it, and it was received well, and our friendship--our community--has been honored.  But that didn't make it easy.

Maybe that's what tough love, loving stupid people even when they don't change, and speaking the truth in love is all about.  It's not easy.  It's not easy for the person who is hearing it, nor is it easy for the person who is doing it.  But it's still the right thing to do.