Book Three

The Meaning of Matthew: My Son's Murder in Laramie, and a World Transformed
Judy Shepard

Every once in a while, a film will come along that sticks with me.  It settles into my brain and sort of just grabs hold in a way that I know I'll never be the same.  I've been changed by what I've seen.  "Martha Marcy Mae Marlene" comes to mind as the most recent.  There's also "Who is Julia?," "Doubt," and "In the Mouth of Madness," to name a few.

More rarely, a book will have that same power.  I immediately think of Nobody's Fault by Patricia Hermes, Before I Fall by Lauren Oliver, and Columbine by Dave Cullen.  When I first read them, and still now years after, I feel haunted by them.  The Meaning of Matthew is one of those books.  I remember so vividly the day in October 1998 when I first heard that Matthew had been attacked and tied to a fence and left to die.  I remember feeling personally violated at the thought that people could be so heartless and hateful.  It made no sense to me.  To be honest, it still doesn't.

Judy Shepard, Matt's mom, wrote this book ten years after the murder of her son, and it still makes no sense--to anyone.  But, like so many people caught in tragic situations, she has decided to make the world different, make sense of the world, instead of the tragedy.  The honesty with which Judy writes is moving.  She doesn't paint Matt with an angelic brush and even calls out the media and others who have. 

This book is important for everyone to read--whether you think you've made up your mind about homosexuality, whether you are facing it yourself or struggling with a family member who is, or whether you think none of it will ever affect you.  It will.  It does, in ways that may surprise you.  Take a minute to learn what you can about yourself, about the people you know, and about the world in which we live.  It's never okay to hate.  It's not enough to tolerate.  As Dennis, Matthew's father, stated in his victim impact statement at the sentencing of one of the murderers, "Love, respect, and compassion for everyone is why we are here today...loving one another doesn't mean that we have to compromise our beliefs; it simply means that we choose to be compassionate and respectful of others."