Beau thinks I have too many TV shows on our DVR (it's possible that's true, but it should be noted that there is still 79% remaining space, so he can record 334 hours of TV), so I'm working hard to watch what I have there. This is all happening while another show is recording, so I'm positive I'm defeating the purpose here, but it's the thought, right?
Tonight's show of choice: Killer Kids on Bio. This particular episode is "Family Killers," and I recorded it several weeks ago. For obvious reasons, I have been putting off watching it--mostly I just didn't feel like ending the day with such a heavy subject. I have no idea what made me turn it on tonight, but I did. And now I'm glued to it.
True crime is my favorite genre of book, film, and television show. I've always been fascinated by the glimpse into the mind of the criminals and the motives behind the crime. I think there is never just one motive, and I think that very few crimes happen with absolutely no warning signs. In the murder cases that they have featured on this show, all of that is true. But warning signs are always easy to see in the rear view mirror.
Teenagers are some of my favorite people, too. I love the angsty, sullen attitudes they adopt at that age. I love their honesty. I love them. They make my heart sing, and they make my heart break.
Killer Kids. What a horrific thought. These kids are all teenagers--12, 13, 16--who snapped on a given afternoon or evening and murdered their families, always beginning with their parents. Obviously that's wrong. I'm not going to dispute that--there comes a point where you have to take ownership of your actions, and I think you can begin to do that at a very young age. These kids were all out of line, and they needed to be punished.
But what makes a kid a killer? Sometimes there is a psychiatric break, but for these kids that wasn't the case. For these kids there was a premeditated moment where they decided the best option would be to kill their parents, "driven by mindless rage . . . disconnected from himself and with no feelings for those he is mowing down" (taken from the narrator's remarks in the show). The show goes on to ask that same question: if there isn't any mental break, how can we make sense of why this happened? I'm just not sure we can.
The only thing I can see is that none of these kids had a good relationship with their parents. At least one of their parents is overly controlling. There isn't a lot of grace. There isn't room to be themselves, to be creative, to make mistakes, to be kids.
God, it is hard to be a parent. It is hard to lay down rules for safety and to teach children responsibility. It is hard to be gracious and forgiving, especially in the middle of the daily frustrations of being disobeyed and disrespected. It is hard to love unconditionally in the midst of angsty, sullen attitudes and hurtful raging. But they need us to do it. They need us to love them and forgive them and give them rules and discipline them and hold them and cry with them and talk to them. Give us the strength to do it.
And, man, I am glad these murders took place in Canada and Norway, and kids in the United States don't do stuff like this.
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