Your feet will touch the soil of many countries.

Some time ago, another lifetime, really, my husband and a friend's husband got the crazy idea that we should pack up and move to South Africa. A dream come true. And yet, the dreamer friend and I knew it wasn't right. So we didn't. And it hurt.

Because God will use anything in front of us to speak to us, I got a good fortune to end my lovely dinner of Orange Chicken the night I knew we couldn't move. "Your feet will touch the soil of many countries." Peace. I knew that I knew that I knew. And it hurt.

It's time again to be a dreamer whose dreams get closed behind doors of reality and "not yet." But the dream doesn't have to die. I'll close it behind the door, and I'll extinguish the flame, leaving only an ember. When the time is right, perhaps He will fan the flames . . . because sometimes the dream never dies.

So, yes. My feet will touch the soil of many countries. And maybe some day I'll be the one packing up to move and explore a new city. Maybe some day I'll be the one visiting grad schools and making a different life for myself. Maybe some day I'll be the one on the book tour. For now, though, those dreams join South Africa behind a door that I can't afford to open.

Sometimes it still hurts.
But when I know, it doesn't matter that I can't see.

Isn't it just like the Lord to invite me
To put all my dreams in His hands
Forever releasing the grip that once held them
Forever surrendering my plans
And then when He's certain it's not born of man
He calls for the fire to rekindle again
And he askes me to know with my heart
What's not seen with my eyes
So the dream never dies.
-"When the Dream Never Dies," Child of the Promise