Reviewing: Taming the To-Do List

Taming the To-Do List: How to choose your best work every day
by Glynnis Whitwer

I am a busy girl.  Or am I?  Yes, I do a lot of things.  But are they my best things?  And am I actually busy with them, or am I just making myself busy with other things so I don’t have to do them? 

These are the questions Whitwer asks and addresses in her book.  Because I’m busy (which I’m starting to think is not true and is definitely not God’s intention for my life), my review of it is coming later than it was supposed to.  And because I get these books and have to read them quickly to review them, I don’t have time to really dig into them like I want to and need to do in order to really apply their truths and declare them useful or not worth your time. All that said, Taming Your To-Do List is exactly what I need. Because those questions are at the start and at the end of each of my days . . . and in the middle too.

I’m finding myself obligated to do things I don’t want to do and am not certain I should.  I’m finding myself behind in things I want to do and feel like I should.  I’m finding myself unable to sit down and enjoy a few moments of solitude because of all the things I should be doing.  I’m not present where I need to be when I need to be, and everything I do feels like another opportunity for guilt.

Something’s got to give. 

And that’s what Whitwer is writing about.  From her personal experiences with procrastination and “busyness” and obligation and calling, she draws real-life examples, goals that are achievable, and practical applications that remind you to make room for what is important and good and right.

I know you’re busy.  We’re all busy.  But the truth might be that we’re too busy not to read this book.  I know I am.

Disclosure: I received this book at no charge from Revell through the Revell Reads Blog Tour Program in exchange for my honest review.  The opinions I have expressed are my own, and I was not required to write a positive review.  I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255.

Reviewing: Murder at the Courthouse

by A. H. Gabhart

Murder at the Courthouse is intended to be a small-town, cozy mystery.  On this, Gabhart both succeeds and falls short.

Small-town fiction tends to be heavy on character development—quirks, gossips, kind-hearted souls, and the like.  Gabhart gets that nearly perfect.  Her characters really become people to whom you feel connected, even after “knowing” them for such a short time.  This is especially important in a series which hopes to build on those characters and our affinity for them.  Courthouse is the first in “A Hidden Springs Mystery” series.  It is published by Revell so is a Christian book, but it isn’t overt or preachy, which I appreciate.

Where Gabhart fell short was on the mystery end.  It is a cozy, and I love cozies.  However, from the moment the body is found, Gabhart failed to bury any of her clues enough to keep me guessing.  The only reason I wasn’t positive who had committed the murders was because I kept telling myself it couldn’t be as obvious as it was.  Instead, every page left me more convinced as clues were left in the open.  I solved the crime faster than the hero, Deputy Michael Keane and wasn’t left guessing about anything, including the motive.

Overall, though the lack of mystery and even lightly hidden clues was disappointing, this early introduction to the characters (both living and dead) may bring me back for more of Hidden Springs.  But it won’t be at the top of my mystery list.

Disclosure: I received this book free from Revell through the Revell Reads Blog Tour program.  The opinions I have expressed are my own, and I was not required to write a positive review.  I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255.

A Letter of Apology

A letter of apology, to my oldest daughter--

Dear one, I owe you an apology.  And I am very, very sorry.

There are so many places where I fall short in the eyes of the world or in the eyes I see in the mirror.

I am afraid when I should be brave.  I don't write enough.  Our house gets messy, and I fall behind on the laundry.  You know I hate to cook, so we eat out too much.  I have trouble saving our money, and we have more debt than we should.  I don't work out enough.  I eat too much ice cream.  I stay up too late.  And I sleep in too long.  I watch more TV than is healthy, and I let you do the same.  I don't spend as much time with Daddy as he deserves.  I choose other things over spending time in prayer and reading my Bible.  I yell at you for crazy things.  I have a hard time controlling my temper.  I don't like vegetables.

But somewhere along the line I did you a disservice.  Somewhere, somehow, I let you believe that those things are how I see myself.  I let you believe that I don't think I'm enough.  And then, that translated into you believing you aren't enough.

And, oh, my precious one.  You are.

You.

Are.

Enough.

You have those beautiful blue eyes and a great smile that makes them disappear.  I love your apple cheeks everyone says are mine.  You are smart and funny and caring.  You live up to your name because, like grace, you can make beauty out of ugly things.

I still remember when your preschool friend Lily's baby brother died right after he was born.  You waited for Lily to come back to preschool, and when she did, you held her hand and sat by her.  Because she needed you.  You were three, Baby.  Three.  But that shouldn't be a surprise, because I remember how you looked at Jerry lying in his casket when you were less than one year old.  You probably thought he was sleeping, except you looked at him like you saw him differently than the rest of us did.  And then you turned to Miss Nancy, and you reached for her to give her the love you had tucked in your tiny baby heart.  And, just last month, I watched you work through your frustration to figure out how to draw an elephant just in case you needed to remind our family that you have their backs.  Nobody loves more than you do, honey.

I love how much you love Ivy and your friends and reading and messy rooms and Marie Grace and Trixie Belden and sleeping in and riding your bike and Paris and not working hard.  I love that you don't like to fly but you still want to see the world and go to France some day.  I love getting to know the beautiful young woman you are becoming.

And I am sorry for not telling you that enough.  Because I am proud of who you are.  I am proud of you.  And I am proud to be your mom.

You are enough, Baby Girl.  Enough.  And you always will be, no matter what.

I wish I could see myself through your eyes, and I wish you could see yourself through mine.  Then you would sit up tall.  And you would take on the world like a mighty warrior.  Like a beautiful, mighty warrior.  Like a girl who loves like no one else can.  And you would proud to be you.

Reviewing: Wild in the Hollow

Wild in the Hollow
by Amber C. Haines

Subtitled "On Chasing DESIRE & Finding the Broken Way HOME," Wild in the Hollow is at times memoir and at others rambling essay.  I mean that in the best way possible.  Amber C. Haines's prose isn't always easy to follow, but hang in there--what she's saying is worth hearing.  And it's all beautiful.

Wild in the Hollow follows Haines's literal journey from her roots in the hollows of Alabama to her small house with acreage in Arkansas.  It also details her spiritual journey, lived through addiction and running from God to the ache of loneliness in the middle of a marriage and the art of pursuing His heart in the midst of personal dreams.  And with Haines's "soulful" way of writing, it's all stated matter-of-factly with no judgment and full transparency.

I enjoyed both journeys.  And I enjoyed seeing my own journey to find "home" in the pages.  As Haines reveals the culmination of her journey (to this point anyway) in her life, her marriage, her church, her friendships, her faith, and her parenting, I found myself in there as well.

Nobody writes like Amber C. Haines.  I'm telling you--even the acknowledgements contain nuggets I want to never forget.  She writes beautifully and vividly and honestly.


Disclosure: I received this book free through the Revell Reads Blog Tour program in exchange for my honest review.  I was not required to read a positive review, and all opinions expressed are my own.  I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255.

Reviewing: Last Chance Hero

Last Chance Hero
by Cathleen Armstrong

The fourth installment in Cathleen Armstrong's A Place to Call Home series, Last Chance Hero, tells the story of Jess, a young doctor who moves to Last Chance to open a rural medical practice, and Andy, former Last Chance football hero turned high school football coach.  It's a sweet romance in its truest form without feeling cheesy or contrived.

I chose to read this book because I'm intrigued by small-town relationships and drawing faith into fiction without making it preachy.  Armstrong does both very well.  She paints characters vividly with dialogue--from long paragraphs that are spoken quickly to a daily joke that is at once simple and profound--and description.  Though this was my first visit to Last Chance, I left feeling like I knew the characters well.  And, I left feeling encouraged in my faith even when things don't go according to my own plans.

Without saying too much and ruining one of the story lines, I do wish Armstrong had given us more of one of the characters and had devoted more of her page to him.  At the same time, every word he is given paints him--and God's grace--vividly.


Disclosure: I received this book free through the Revell Reads program in exchange for my honest review.  I was not required to write a positive review, and all opinions expressed are my own.  I am disclosing this in compliance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255.

Reviewing Warrior Chicks

Warrior Chicks: Rising strong when life wants to take you down

By Holly Wagner

Life is hard.  Sometimes it’s big events—cancer, a death in the family, divorce—other times it’s the day-to-day living.  Whether it’s one big thing or a hundred small things, sometimes it seems like life truly does want to take us down.  And then we have two choices: go down or rise strong.

Wagner, founder of the GodChick ministry, wrote Warrior Chicks several years ago in response to her own personal journey through one of life’s big events.  Revell re-released the book this year, and this was my first experience with it. 

After 18 months of “big events” in my own life, coupled with the day-to-day living of working nearly full time, trying to pursue my own dreams in life, being a wife to an employee and grad student and a mother to three girls—the oldest with anxiety, the middle with a sensory processing disorder, and the youngest full of extreme stubbornness—and selling our house and moving into another, I am both exhausted and feeling down for the count.  In that frame of mind, I was excited to get this book and fought for time to sit down and read it.  In some ways I wasn’t disappointed.  In others, I feel a bit let down.

Warrior Chicks is written in what I call “blog” format.  The paragraphs are mostly one to two sentences long.  Wagner includes in them motivational thoughts and words but not a lot of new information.  It really seems more like a speech or a rallying cry and less like tips or support in how to actually rise strong.  It provides you with the want to and the inspiration but not the training you might need, though Wagner does address the need for this physical, emotional, and spiritual training.  For me, the format was difficult to get through.  When I could finally look past that, I did finish the book feeling inspired.

The cover of the book has boxing gloves (pink, of course).  Warrior Chicks isn’t going to be the daily training a boxer needs to make it into the ring or the muscles and body building required, but it will be the pep talk in the corner after each round to get you back out there, ready to keep fighting.

Disclosure: I was given this book free by Revell Reads Blog Tour Program.  The opinions I have expressed are my own, and I was not required to write a positive review.  I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255.

Reviewing: Untangled

Untangled: Let God Loosen the Knots of Insecurity in Your Life

By Carey Scott

I'm not good enough. I'm not smart enough. I need to be skinnier, prettier, funnier. 

Life is full of "not enoughs" and "-ers" that will tangle us up into a knotted mess. In Untangled, Carey Scott shares her own life's journey--and the journeys of other women--as they step back and allow God to untangle the knots into smooth cords of beauty. We weren't created to focus on the ways we fall short. And we weren't created to compare ourselves to the women around us who might be better cooks, chaperones, athletes, mothers, wives, employees--the list goes on and on. 

We have one standard, and one place from which to draw our worth, and there is great news!

He thinks you're amazing. 

And He wants you to see that too. In Untangled, He gave Carey the words to share practical ways to break through the lies and the ways Satan tries to tangle even our good desires. Carey offers stories, strategies, Scripture references, practical questions, and a prayer to help women navigate marriage, singleness, motherhood, friendship, work, and even social media. This book will have a treasured spot on my nightstand as I pray through my day with the reminder that I truly am worthy of love...just because God created me that way. 

I received this book from Revell through the Revell Reads Blog Tour program in exchange for my honest thoughts. I was not required to write a positive review. 

Reviewing: Desperate Measures

Desperate Measures

By Sandra Orchard

This is book three in Sandra Orchard’s Port Aster Secrets series.  It might be worth noting at the outset that I did not read books one and two.  In spite of my coming in rather “in the middle” (or “closer to the end,” it seems) I thought this was a good book.  The romance that began in earlier books between Kate and Tom continues, but it doesn’t do so from a place that one would be lost without knowing their history.  Orchard also brings her new readers up to speed on the mystery that has traveled throughout the series.

While the mystery wasn’t necessarily gripping for me (maybe greater investment comes from reading the entire series), the characters are written well enough to draw in the reader and make us care.  In addition, Orchard creates suspense where it is lacking by leaving the reader guessing about who to trust.  Her method of telling the story in an alternating fashion between Tom and Kate makes this possible.

My biggest complaint is with the romance.  Orchard writes the ups and downs in Tom and Kate’s relationship rather than making them meet, fall madly in love, and enjoy a rosy future together.  That was a good thing.  But for much of this book, Kate alternates between furious with Tom (and rightly so, given some of the things he did) and wishing they were together.  As a reader, I do understand the resolution for them it felt a bit contrived and tidier than it should have done.  Finally, there is a minor character Orchard dropped completely.  He has a history in Port Aster—one that may have been included in the other books but I was able to easily piece it together—and I wish I knew more about his future.

I received this book free from Revell through the Revell Reads Blog Tour Program in exchange for my honest review.  The views I have expressed are my own, and I was not required to write a positive response.

Reviewing: Laugh Out Loud Pocket Doodles for Girls

Laugh Out Loud Pocket Doodles for Girls

By Rob Elliott (author) and Jonny Hawkins (illustrator)

Since this book recently available from Revell is meant for girls under 12, I turned it over to one of my three girls who fits that age.  Well, the truth is I turned it over to all of them, but the middle one claimed it as hers and never looked back.  I told her she’d have to blog her review of it since she stole it.  Even that didn’t make her give it up.  So she’s next to me on the sofa—I’m merely the typist here and only because I’m faster.

(From Megan, age 7)

This book is so funny!  I like this book because it fits me—because I’m crazy, and it is too.  There are crazy jokes like “What’s a wolf’s favorite book?”  (The answer is “Little Howl on the Prairie.”)  It isn’t just jokes either.  There are riddles and doodles you can finish and color.  It means a lot to a girl who likes to have fun.

(From Mom, age older than 7)

Meg LOVED this book.  As soon as she opened it she was cracking up at the jokes and making us laugh with them too.  She is also an artsy girl, and the doodles are fun for her.  They also get her mind going.  It’s hard to imagine her being bored with this book in her hand on a long car ride or a rainy day. 

Revell and Amazon note Laugh Out Loud Pocket Doodles for Girls is meant for girls ages 9-12.  My daughter is obviously 7, and she loves it.  Some of the jokes go over her head but not many.  I would say you could expand down a few years to include the 2^nd and 3^rd graders in your life as well.  This book is a great alternative to the “I’m bored—can I play on a screen” chorus of summer.


I received this book free from Revell through the Revell Reads Blog Tour Program in exchange for my honest review.  The views I have expressed are my own, and I was not required to write a positive response.

Reviewing: Buried Secrets

Buried Secrets
by Irene Hannon

Buried Secrets is the first in Irene Hannon’s new series about the three McGregor brothers, all members of elite military branches.  Mac McGregor, the oldest brother, has stepped down from life as a Navy SEAL and is easing into a new role as a county detective.  Similarly, Lisa Grant is ready for a quieter existence than what she experienced as a detective in Chicago’s homicide division.  She is now the chief of police in a small town in Missouri.  When human bones are unearthed, Lisa’s and Mac’s paths cross as they partner to solve the decades-old mystery.

The premise of Buried Secrets was very promising to me.  I enjoy detective stories—I like to see how the detectives interact with each other, how the evidence is discovered and the clues are planted, and how the good guys take down the bad guys.  This is a romantic suspense, however, so the crime and its solving take a backseat to the romantic sparks flying between Mac and Lisa.  As each chapter unfolds, Hannon moves from a third person focus on Mac to a third person focus on Lisa.  This allows a glimpse inside Mac’s head and Lisa’s—the dual focus can be appealing to people who enjoy romances and like to see how men think (though, written by a woman it’s hard to know if this is actually how men think). 

It was entertaining enough.  Since I prefer my mysteries with a side of romance rather than the other way around, it took me a while to get into the book.  I had to slog through the mutual attraction and the “we can’t be together because we work together” until I got to the meat of the mystery.  Once I was there, I really enjoyed the way Hannon broke it down.  Because of the prologue, we never truly wonder who buried the bones.  In a way that made the story interesting—instead of trying to guess who did it, I got to wonder how they would be caught, and I got to enjoy that process.  For lovers of romantic suspense, I can see that this is a well-written book and would recommend it for them.  For lovers of crime fiction, it’s probably worth the read as long as you don’t mind romance in the form of lingering looks, fingers accidentally brushing, and racing hearts.

Disclosure: I received this book free from Revell through the Revell Reads (http://bakerpublishinggroup.com/revell/revell-reads) program. The opinions I have expressed are my own, and I was not required to write a positive review. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 http://www.access.gpo.gov/nara/cfr/waisidx_03/16cfr255_03.html.

Reviewing: A Glorious Dark

A Glorious Dark: Finding Hope in the Tension Between Belief and Experience
A.J. Swoboda

When I read a book, be it fiction or nonfiction, and I come across something that strikes me—a turn of phrase or an important point—I fold the corner of the page over, marking that spot.  Then, when I’m finished with the book, I go back to that page, reread it, and see if something strikes me again.  If it does, I must have really meant it, and I underline it. 

In A Glorious Dark, I had 23 pages folded over.  In a 15-chapter book.  And I almost skipped the folding over and went straight to the underlining.

A.J. Swoboda has a way with words.  He mixes humor with heartfelt vulnerability and thought-provoking seriousness, and he does it all against a backdrop of Good Friday, Easter Sunday, and the in-between Saturday. 

It has been said, “It’s Friday, but Sunday is coming.”  That is almost always spoken to move us quickly from the trauma, the sadness, the fear of Jesus’ death and into the celebration of His resurrection.  And Swoboda does start with Good Friday.  He starts with Jesus’ death, and he asks us to sit there in the numbness of it.  But then he doesn’t rush from that into the joy and celebration.  He calls us to pause and fully enter in to Saturday first.  Saturday, when Jesus had been killed and was dead in the tomb.  Saturday, when nobody knew Sunday was coming.  Saturday, when it seems like my life is falling apart, and I can’t even find a friend let alone God.  Saturday, where we live a good portion of our lives.  Saturday, where Jesus may have lain dead in a tomb but, just like a river in the winter, there is a glorious dark underneath.

I have truly never read a book like this.  It is with regret that I can only recommend A Glorious Dark to anyone who reads this review, and I can’t actually go out and buy a copy for every one of my friends, my family members, and people I don’t even know very well.


 Disclosure: I received this book free from Baker Books through the Baker Books Bloggers www.bakerbooks.com/bakerbooksbloggers program. The opinions I have expressed are my own, and I was not required to write a positive review. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 http://www.access.gpo.gov/nara/cfr/waisidx_03/16cfr255_03.html.

Reviewing: The A to Z Guide to Bible Signs & Symbols

The A to Z Guide to Bible Signs & Symbols: Understanding Their Meaning and Significance
by Neil Wilson and Nancy Ryken Taylor

The subtitle of this book is "Understanding Their Meaning and Significance," and therein lies the beauty of this book. It is certainly not the easiest book to just pick up and read, from page 1 through the end, but I think it is an important book for every Christian's shelf.

Very few of us have the calling to attend seminary (or the desire to sit and read commentaries), so our understanding of the meaning and significance of the signs and symbols in the Bible is limited to sermons presented by our pastors who have done the studying. And, because there is so much to get from those Sunday or midweek sermons, we run short on time to truly soak in the significance of a symbol or a sign found scattered throughout the Bible. That leaves most of us with little to no knowledge of what was packed into the Scripture--things that will enrich not only our understanding of God's word for us but also our faith.

Enter The A to Z Guide to Bible Signs & Symbols. Neil Wilson and Nancy Ryken Taylor have compiled a user-friendly resource rich with examples and references from the Old Testament to the New Testament. From the cross to darkness to quail to wind--and everything in between--Wilson and Ryken Taylor break down the sign or the symbol, explain its significance (either positive or negative), and challenge the believer to learn from its inclusion. I'm thrilled to have this reference on my bookshelf to enhance my personal devotions, and I recommend it for everyone who wants to dig a bit deeper.

Disclosure: I received this book free from Baker Books through the Baker Books Bloggerswww.bakerbooks.com/bakerbooksbloggers program. The opinions I have expressed are my own, and I was not required to write a positive review. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255.

Reviewing: 30 Events That Shaped the Church

30 Events That Shaped the Church: Learning from Scandal, Intrigue, War, and Revival
by Alton Gansky

How can one not eagerly pick up a book with a subtitle like that?!  I love to learn from scandal and intrigue!  I'm happy to report that Gansky's book did not disappoint.  There was scandal and intrigue and war and revival . . . and a lot in between.

I can't even imagine how many years Gansky spent researching the 30 events he chose to include in this book, but each hour is obvious.  While this book was interesting and a fairly quick read, it could certainly serve as a starting point for further research into any of the events he mentioned.  In fact, I often thought, "If my kids ever need to write about the history of the church, this is the perfect primer for them."  From obvious events like Pentecost to the less obvious "Rise of the Neo-Evangelicals," every one of the 30 chapters can stand alone while also flowing from one to the next in a cohesive timeline.  Gansky often refers back to another chapter as he's explaining a new event.  Then, in the end, he ties the rise of atheism back to the birth of the church and offers hope that we can again come through these current days stronger and more unified.

Through this journey from AD 30 to the present day I found my faith sharpened and reaffirmed.  It was fun to read about the birth of Protestantism and see where the church I love today--and the Church I love today--got its start and has been forced to change and grow in order to stay alive . . . and where it refused to compromise.  This book is a great journey for the seasoned follower of Christ, the new believer, and everyone in between.  I think it would also be great for an adult Sunday School as it would spur conversation and a critical look at where we were, where are now, and where we need to go.


Disclosure: I received this book free from Baker Books through the Baker Books Bloggers program.  The opinions I have expressed are my own, and I was not required to write a positive review.  I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255.

Reviewing: The Crimson Cord

The Crimson Cord: Rahab's Story
by Jill Eileen Smith

The concept for this book is an interesting one.  It is a deeper look at the story of Rahab.  She merits only a few verses in the Bible but also earns a spot in Jesus' lineage . . . so what is her story?  Obviously we can't know for sure.  So Jill Eileen Smith imagines a tale for her--how did she become a prostitute, what was that life like for her, how did she come to know the Israelite spies and save them, and how did she end up married to an Israelite and the great-great (several times) grandmother of Jesus?

It's always fun to speculate and add meat to stories with few details and eternal impact.  So the concept is interesting.  Unfortunately, I found the delivery to be lacking.  Smith does a decent enough job creating sympathy for Rahab.  She also creates multidimensional characters in Salmon, Rahab's younger sister, and Joshua and his wife, Eliana.  Beyond that, Smith asks the reader to suspend disbelief a little more than is fair.  She uses various stories from different parts of the Bible and builds them into Rahab's story.  Because the Bible doesn't put them there it is distracting to have them and other random lines from Scripture tucked into places where they don't belong.  Rahab's transition from a prostitute into a follower of Adonai borders on realistic but falls flat in the end, as does her official entrance into such a holy family tree.

One final note.  Because these stories take us into a time we can only otherwise read about in our Bibles, they invite us to witness events that have built the foundation of our faith.  To that end, there was one line that jumped out at me and made this otherwise flat story worth my time.  Seeing these events come to life--even in an unbelievable, disappointing, and at times distracting way--serves as a reminder that through all the events of our lives God is worth trusting.  As Rahab herself reasons: ". . . If Israel truly gained victory over the warriors of Jericho . . . there was no reason to doubt a God who could part the Red Sea."


Disclosure: I received this book free from Revell through the Revell Reads program. The opinions I have expressed are my own, and I was not required to write a positive review. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255.

The Ultimate Cheat

We've been on sort of a hardcore diet for the past week.  I don't actually prescribe to dieting per se.  I believe that for weight loss to be sustainable it needs to be a lifestyle change.  I also don't believe losing weight should be the end goal.  That needs to be "healthy," and healthy comes in all shapes and sizes.

At the same time, healthy for me will mean, in part, losing weight.  Now, I know the theory behind losing weight and getting healthy: eat less (of the crappy food and oversized portions), eat more (of the right things), and move more (whether it's walking or running).

I get all that.

But, like many things (and many people), I struggle to put that theory in action.  So we came across The Doctor's Diet.  Dr. Travis Stork (yes, from The Doctors on TV, but also an ER doc at VanderBilt) put his own eating plan down on paper--it's high in veggies and healthy proteins and healthy carbs, and low in all those other things that taste great but make us gain weight, have low energy, and generally feel like junk.  Since I am the picky eater in the house, I looked through the menus he suggests for his two-week STAT plan and for his two-week RESTORE plan.  And then I looked at what I got to eat when I was done with that four-week cycle and had finally reached the holy pinnacle of My Goal Weight.  That's the MAINTAIN plan.  And it all looked doable.  And sensible.  And healthy.

So we kicked it off.

We've each had a cheat day (Thursday for both of us) where I did have ice cream.  And it was too big, and I felt like garbage after.  And not from guilt either.  I don't prescribe to guilt.  I'm a Romans 8:1 girl.  Beau noticed on his cheat day that he felt run down by afternoon, something he didn't feel the rest of the week while he was eating on the plan.  Imagine that.  The veggies and healthful carbs and protein works!  (And, incidentally, they actually taste good.  Imagine my surprise in enjoying a variety of beans, an avocado, guacamole sans onions, AND grapefruit?!  Not all together, though.  That still sounds gross.)

We also woke up this morning 9 pounds down (for Beau) and 7 pounds down (for me).  Which is exciting and horrifying all at once.  Exciting: the plan is working.  Horrifying: we were really eating like garbage before.

Anyway, today is Sunday.  It's Super Bowl Sunday, so we carefully chose the cheats we wanted for the party we're attending tonight and are looking forward to enjoying fellowship and some (carefully excessive) eating.  But first, we went to church.

Not only is today Sunday, today is Communion Sunday at our church.  We sat through the bulk of the service--a baptism, crying kids, offering, snippets of the sermon caught through chatting and wiggly kids--and then it was time for communion.  I learned a cool way of thinking about communion recently, so I was definitely looking forward to it this morning.  That time of toasting Jesus' memory, thanking Him for His love and His sacrifice . . .

Still, I wasn't prepared for the actual act of putting that little piece of white bread in my mouth today.

You guys.  Aside from two whole grain English muffins, I have not had a piece of bread in over a week.  And I certainly haven't had a hunk of pure, refined carb, zero nutritional value, white bread.  That thing was good.  My teeth sank into it.  I crushed it between my tongue and the roof of my mouth.  And for a moment I was in heaven.

Then I chuckled.

And in my head I said, "God, that was a great cheat.  Thank you."

And then I thought about it for a moment while the elders gathered the trays of grape juice, and I sat in anticipation of the taste of that juice--the first time drinking something other than water or tea in a week--passing across my taste buds and trickling its happy, sweet goodness down my throat.

And I whispered, right out loud, "Let it always be like this, God.  Let it always feel like a refreshing, I have missed you for so long, thank you for this gift, cheat.  Because, in the end, that's what it represents."

Death should have been mine.  That's where I was headed.  But Jesus cheated that for me.

Praise be my Rock!

Empowered Through Pain

It's been an interesting 14 months for the Bierenga family.  I've alluded to some of our family's journey here and here and again here.  I have wrestled over the last year with how much to write, whether to write, and what to really say.  In the end, I still haven't written.  I know I will, because that's what I do.  But I still need a little more space to really climb into it.

At the same time, something settled in my brain on Monday that I have to share.  Then it will feel real, and public, and permanent (remember, that's true about the internet).

Monday dawned dark and early, and I was in a bed at my parents' house.  My parents were on their way out the door.  I needed to shower so my sister and I could join them in a curtained room in the surgical prep area of Hackley Hospital in Muskegon.  The morning was freezing cold, and we shivered our way to the hospital before the sun was even considering breaking the horizon.  We found my parents in the last "room" on our left.  Dad was lying in the bed, and Mom was sitting on a chair next to him.  We spent our time there together, just the four of us, for the first time in years really, now that Sara and I are married and have five kids between us.  We were together while the nurse prepped Dad, while the anesthesiologist talked with him, while Sara prayed for Dad and the surgeons and the cancer to go away, while the surgeon checked in with him, while the surgeon prayed for the surgery team, while I read a sad note from a friend whose battle with cancer is nearing its final days, while we laughed and took pictures and read comments from friends who are praying.

And then it was time for the team to walk him to the Operating Room.  Nearly eight years ago, my dad left for Iraq.  That goodbye was hard.  That goodbye was for 400 days and thousands of miles and time zones and bombs and war.  That was the hardest goodbye I've ever had with my dad.  This one nestled right up against it.  So much was riding on that bed.  My daddy was riding on that bed.  And how do you kiss him goodbye hoping and uncertain and wishing and dreaming and desperately loving?  We did it.

While we were waiting in the Family Waiting Area (while "The 700 Club" played on TV, so that wasn't super helpful), we all tried to occupy ourselves.  Sara worked on a training for work.  Mom read Facebook and played Candy Crush and Words with Friends.  I read a book for the Baker Bloggers Program.  And while I was reading, while the surgeons were collecting samples of my dad's insides for biopsy, while hundreds of people around the country were praying, while we were trying to distract ourselves, it hit me.

I was reading the section entitled "Experiencing God's Presence in Suffering, Loss, and Pain."  Kevin Harney wrote:

Suffering is suffering.  It is ours as we walk through it.  It invariably leads to tears, sorrow, heartache, and struggle.  It usually comes unannounced and we rarely know when it will leave.
Most of all, suffering can crush our faith or strengthen it.  The decision is ours.  Will I cling to Jesus through my pain and with tears streaming down my face?  Or will I turn my back and walk away from the only One who can carry me through?  Will I curse God or bless his name even if my teeth are clenched in agony as I worship?  Will I let the presence and power of God fill me to overflowing when I have nothing left to give, or will I seek to make it through in my own strength?
Powerful people seek to face suffering by relying on their own reserve of strength and tenacity.
The powerless throw in the towel as soon as the winds shift, long before the roof comes crashing down.
But the empowered hold the hand of Jesus and let his strength and presence carry them through the tempest of suffering, loss, and pain.  The empowered know that they can't weather the storms life will bring, but that the Maker of heaven and earth can place them under his wings and shelter them no matter what comes their way.

I read that, and then I looked up at my mom and my big sister, and I said, "I'm empowered.  And I'm empowered because we're empowered.  That's what you and Dad taught us."  And it's true.

Our faith isn't perfect.  My grandparents made their mistakes, but they instilled in my mom a faith that is her own.  And through their own struggles and journeys and heartaches my parents have given me a faith in the Maker of heaven and earth and His shelter and peace.

Just over 19 years ago, I left home.  I moved to a secular college because I wanted to forget my parents' faith and find my own.  During that time I made mistakes, and I said and did some hurtful things in my "enlightenment."  But I worked hard to build my faith.  And now there I was.  Sitting in a nondescript and uncomfortable waiting room while my dad underwent cancer surgery, and I realized that the faith I have is now my own, but it's also my parents'.   I'm empowered by the presence of God in the midst of my pain and suffering.  But every single day of the journey we have walked since November 2013 I have seen the same empowering written in my parents' words.  It's been in their strength, in their hope, in their peace, in their prayers.  That didn't change when Zack died.  It didn't change when my dad was pushed into retirement.  It didn't change when our house was broken into.  It didn't change when Dad was told he had cancer.  It didn't change while we waited in that room together.  It didn't change today when we were told that my dad's lymph nodes and all margins of his prostate are clear of cancer.  And I know without a doubt that it wouldn't have changed if we had been told his body was riddled with the disease.

Harney goes on to talk about being "propelled onward by the call and mission of God."  He says that our journey of faith is not really any different than Abraham's when he was still called Abram and he followed an unknown God from the land of his family into a new land where God would build His kingdom.  "Who follows God like this?" Harney writes.  "Abraham and Sarah.  Peter and Andrew.  You and me.  We hear his call.  He leads us on a mission day-by-day and moment-by-moment.  We go, not knowing where it will lead us but trusting the God who calls us to follow him."

And we do.  The journey might lead us through betrayal.  It might lead us through the valley of the shadow of death.  It might lead us through cancer or job loss or the breakdown of a family.  But through all of that, the good and the bad, through the pain and the joy, we live with a tenacious faith that knows "God can see the end of the road even when [we] can't."

Thanks, Mom and Dad.  Thanks for lending me your faith when I was a little girl.  Thanks for letting me go off and try to build my own faith.  And thanks for letting me find a faith that was yours all along.

Reviewing: Empowered By His Presence

Empowered By His Presence: Receiving the Strength You Need Each Day
by Kevin G. Harney

Wow.  This is a great book.  The format, the content, the application--all of it is a wonderful tool for the Christian's journey.

Kevin Harney breaks this book down into a four-week devotional journey (for individuals, small groups, or churches) consisting of a short reading six days a week and a "for further study" portion that can be broken down throughout the week or used for more in-depth study and discussion on the 7th day.  In his introduction, Harney discusses power, its origins in our lives, and its usefulness in our lives.  He also notes there are three types of people: powerful, powerless, and empowered.  Our goal as Christians is to live lives that are empowered by the presence of God and the Holy Spirit.

Through each of the four sections--"Experiencing God's Presence in Suffering, Loss, and Pain"; "Encountering God in the Community of His People"; "Empowered for the Journey by Receiving God's Rest"; and "Propelled Onward by the Call and Mission of God"--Harney tells a story of someone in the Bible and often someone from current times to demonstrate the empowering of God for each step of everyday life.  He then concludes every day's reading with a description of how the powerful, powerless, and empowered individual would respond in that situation.

I found these descriptions to be incredibly helpful.  I tend to be self-critical and read books like this from a place of exhaustion recognizing (and quickly becoming overwhelmed by) all the steps I have to take to "arrive" at some impossible pinnacle of piety.  In reading Empowered, I found each day's reading to be in turns challenging and affirming and encouraging.  Then, reading the descriptions I was able to find myself in each reading and note where I need to work to deepen my dependence on God and His power for my day.  Sometimes I was surprised to see where I fell; other times I was encouraged.  Every time I was challenged by the faith of those who have gone before me and the desire to rest in God's power to meet the needs in my own life and in those around me.  The best news of all is that this power exists and is available to each of us . . . and it is the same power and spirit that dwelt within Christ and empowered Him for His daily journey.


Disclosure: I received this book free from Baker Books through the Baker Books Bloggers (www.bakerbooks.com/bakerbooksbloggers) program.  The opinions I have expressed are my won, and I was not required to write a positive review.  I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255 (http://www.access.gpo.gov/nara/cfr/waisidx_03/16cfr255_03.html).

Reviewing: Hidden Agenda

Hidden Agenda
by Lisa Harris

This is the third installment in Lisa Harris's Southern Crimes series.  I haven't read the first two books, but this series is an interesting one.  Instead of following only one main character in her books, Harris introduces us to the Hunt family--book one is about one daughter, book two is about another, and book three is about their brother.  All of the family members are in one way or another connected to law enforcement, and the books--"Romantic Suspense," a genre which is new to me--tell their love stories against a backdrop of suspense and action.

Because I received this book from Revell to review I didn't know much about it or the series walking into it.  As I mentioned, "Romantic Suspense" is a new genre to me.  This left me wrestling through much of the book as to whether it was a love story with a crime or whether it was a crime story with a romance.  Now that I understand Harris was trying to write a love story set against elements of crime and suspense, I do think she did a good job.

Hidden Agenda takes place over only a few days.  In that time, and through use of memories and flashbacks, Harris manages to develop two characters about whom the reader can care and in whom the reader can invest.  The characters wrestle with trust and regret, and this is well fleshed out despite the pace of the novel.  Given the short time frame in which the story is set, however, I did feel the romance was a bit unrealistic in its development. For lovers of romance, though, it was a sweet love story tucked into some intrigue.

In addition to this character development, there are moral ambiguities I always enjoy finding in books I read.  The reader can question how he or she (most likely she, for a book like this) would respond when faced with similar decisions, and this was laid out well without being in any way preachy.  The family dynamic in the Hunt family is also one that is lovely to see and had me in tears at times.  I also appreciated that things weren't neatly tied up in a bow at the end.  There is still more to be worked out.

I'm addressing the "crime" and "thriller" aspects of this book last, because that's what it seems the book did as well.  The crimes needed to happen in order for Michael and Olivia to be thrown together in a way that they can have their character and relationship arcs.  Because of this, the suspense wasn't intense, and my heart wasn't pounding.  I did wonder how things would come out, how the bad guys seemed to always be one step ahead, and who could be trusted (which ended up surprising me in the end), but it wasn't scary or truly thrilling.

All in all, I would recommend Hidden Agenda to people who enjoy romance with a deeper plot than the "will they or won't they" that is typical of so many romances.  I can also say that I added Dangerous Passage and Fatal Exchange to my "to read" list, because I am interested to spend more time with the Hunt family.  I hope, too, that Harris writes more books in the Southern Crimes series so we can revisit Michael and Olivia as background characters.


Disclosure: I received this book free from Revell through the Revell Reads Blog Tour program (http://bakerpublishinggroup.com/revell/revell-reads).  The opinions I have expressed are my own, and I was not required to write a positive review.  I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255 (www.access.gpo.gov/nara/cfr/waisidx_03/16cfr255_03.html).

Everything We Need to Know We Learned While Training Dragons

I meant to share this a while ago, when I first took my three daughters (and my dad) to see "How To Train Your Dragon 2" over the summer.  But then life happened (or laziness ensued or distraction set in or insert any other excuse here), and I didn't get around to it.  Then my nieces watched it during our family Christmas celebration, and news events happened in our country, and I was reminded.

So, in the theme of things as I close out 2014, better late than never.

While I was watching "How to Train Your Dragon 2," two themes kept coming to mind.  They, coupled with something I listened to myself whisper as I held my frightened four-year-old daughter on my lap, made up three truths about life I've learned over the last several years.  And, as I watch the news each day, I see how essential it is that I teach them to my girls.

It's been too long for me to give specific references to the film, and maybe they aren't even as important as real-life examples, so here goes nothing.

1) Talking and getting to know new people is better than fighting.
Our country is on the cusp of something major.  In college I studied the Civil Rights Movement, and in the cry of silent protesters and angry crowds I see so much history being repeated.  On another front there are lines being drawn about gay rights and transgender individuals and what is Christian and what is right. Then there is addiction--both the addicts themselves and the people who desperately love them and want to be enough for them . . .

We're in a mess of hurting people, and "we" as the Church are too often stepping up to the wrong side of those lines.  Yes.  There is right and there is wrong.  But God never asked us to judge the heart of man.  He asked us to love His children.  If I insist on pointing out the right and the wrong and ignore the brokenness and desperation, am I doing that?  No.  So.  Talking and getting to know people is better than fighting.  We need each other.  We need each other for what we can learn from people who are different than us, and we need each other for what we can share with people who are different than us.  And, most importantly, we need each other because without each other I'm not sure we can ever see a true picture of the God who created each of us.

2) Work together to fight the bullies.
Maybe this lends itself to #1 up there.  We. Need. Each. Other.  Period.  There's nothing more to it than that.  There are bullies in this world.  Some of them are big and physically violent.  Some of them are small and insidious.  Some of them are in the pews next to us in our churches.  Some of them stand in our capitol buildings.  Some of them wear a badge and carry a gun.  Some of them work on our news stations or in a cubicle next to us.

But, it's important to remember that not all of the people in those roles are bullies.

As I'm involved in a Global Learners' Initiative through my daughters' school district I have learned one important lesson: NEVER go alone.  Find a friend.  A buddy.  Someone who has your back.  Because here's the thing.  The bullies are tough.  Their insecurities and ignorance and hatred make them formidable, and their desperation makes them dangerous.

So don't go alone.

Let's join together.  Alone we can get killed.  Alone we can bend and break under the pressure.  Alone we can get laughed out of the room.

If you see a bully who needs to be fought, ask a friend to join you.  If you see a friend who's fighting a battle, join in.  Don't quarrel about differences in technique or philosophy or theology or interpretation.  Just fight alongside someone who needs it.

Fight the bullies with truth and goodness.  Maybe we'll get beaten in this battle.  But we'll win the war.

3) "It might get scary, but it will be okay."
This one is my favorite.  During the great battle scene at the end of the moview, my youngest daughter crawled onto my lap and whispered that she was scared.  I wrapped my arms around her, squeezed her tightly, and whispered back, "Baby, it will be okay.  It might get scary, but it will be okay."

There is truth to this, I realized as I heard my words.  That's life, friends.  It gets scary sometimes.  But it will be okay.

What a year my family had closing out 2013 and throughout 2014.  We were betrayed by friends--publicly.  Lies were told.  Tears were shed.  Curse words were uttered.  Truth is still taking its time stepping into the light.  In the middle of all of it, a brother ended his fight with PTSD.  And now, at the end of it (we thought), my dad has been diagnosed with prostate cancer.  His prognosis is good, though the cancer is aggressive.  Still, it's cancer.  There will be surgery and, depending on what the doctors find, maybe treatments.

It might get scary, but it will be okay.

We have faith.  And we have God.  And we have each other.  And we have grace.  And we know that in the end, it will all be okay.


Let these three lessons carry us into the new year, friends.  Let this be the year that the Church stops caring about semantics and starts caring about the heart of Christ.  Let this be the year that the bullies are fought against and that the bullied find us standing with them.  Let this be the year of hope in the midst of the fear that everything really will work out in the end.  And, in the middle of it all, let us find grace and love and joy.

Reviewing: The Making of an Ordinary Saint

The Making of an Ordinary Saint: My Journey from Frustration to Joy with the Spiritual Disciplines
by Nathan Foster

Three brief moments of disclosure before I begin:
1) This book took me months to read. That was all on me.  I slowly and carefully digested each word.  I'm certain it could have been read faster, but I couldn't do it.
2) I haven't read Celebration of Discipline by Richard Foster.  Still, I have my preconceived notions about the spiritual disciplines and Richard Foster's beautiful (and comical) use of antonyms in his title.
3) One of my dearest friends edited this book.  She knows me well enough to know that means nothing as to my liking this book.

Now.  On to the review.

Nathan Foster is the son of Richard Foster, whom I have always referred to as "The Disciplines Guy."   Richard's famous book Celebration of Discipline was published when I was one year old and has always felt like a daunting, "must-do" task for me if I want to be a true Christian.  I'm not sure anyone put that on me besides me, but it has always sat there nonetheless.  So, when my editor friend told me what she was working on, I was skeptical and intrigued.  Then I got my hands on the book.  And I spent the next three months eating, chewing, laughing, wiping away tears, nodding my head, and shaking my head in amazement.

For starters, I was glad to find out I wasn't the only one who found the concept of the spiritual disciplines as a formidable but essential checklist in order to reach true Christian status.  Richard Foster's own son felt that way too!  And, in much the same words my own pastor father would use, Richard gently explained to his son (and to the reader--in a coup we get "The Spiritual Disciplines Guy" AND his "Skeptical About the Disciplines Son"!): "This isn't supposed to hurt.  It's not supposed to be a checklist about succeeding or failing.  It's supposed to be about choosing God."

With candid honesty, vulnerable humility, and well-sprinkled humor, Nathan Foster details his four-year journey with the spiritual disciplines.  It's a journey from fear, trepidation, and duty to freedom, love, and joy.  Through his journey, Foster makes approachable what has long felt daunting.  And he helps his reader see the secret Richard Foster tried to share with us all along:

It isn't about twelve rigid practices; in fact, as I go about each day, there are so many simple ways I can intentionally direct my will and actions toward God.  While the categories are helpful, they are only constructed to enable us to frame our experiences.  In a sense there is only one discipline: an active response to a loving God. (p191)

And, in that learning to actively respond to a loving God, through Richard Foster's introductions to each chapter, Nathan Foster's prosaic explanations of his practical implementation of each discipline (sometimes accidental, always simple, and never with mundane results), and a brief essay on a "mother or father" of the faith who lived that discipline daily, we see that this really is practical.  It really is about responding actively to a loving God.  It really is about choosing joy and choosing love and seeing God and needing Him and wanting Him more than anything else.

I'll read this book again.  Next time it won't be for an assignment or with a deadline I already missed.  It will be with a journal and a plan to actively and intentionally walk this journey on my own.


Disclosure: I received this book free from Baker Books through the Baker Books Bloggers (www.bakerbooks.com/bakerbooksbloggers) program.  The opinions I have expressed are my won, and I was not required to write a positive review.  I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255 (http://www.access.gpo.gov/nara/cfr/waisidx_03/16cfr255_03.html).