A: for Advent

I don't write enough.  I don't write enough to finish my novel or blog all my ideas.  I don't write enough to appease my sister, my mom, my husband, or my closest friends.  I don't write enough to be faithful to a calling on my life.  And I don't write enough to feed my soul.

A while back I came across a fun idea to blog through the alphabet.  I wanted to give it a go, but then I didn't.  And I didn't for so long that I wondered if I ever would.  Then an idea to write a post about something I read popped into my head, and in church this morning it dawned on me that it's an advent post, and advent starts with A.  So here we go.  (Hopefully you can read a post on zebras or zoology or ziplock baggies in December of 2016.  We'll call that a win.)

This has been a hard advent.

Family members have given up watching the news.  Eyes are regularly filled with tears threatening to spill.  People are dying, hate is filling the news . . . I met a woman who said she and her husband were talking about their children growing up and wondering what world would be here for the children they might have some day . . . and whether they should even have those children.  Life is hard.  And this advent doesn't feel much like a season of joyous anticipation.

Some advents are.  Some years the air is bursting with excitement as we count down the weeks until the Christ candle is lit and all the presents are ripped open.  It's more of a "Hey, you guys!  One more week down! Only three to go! Can you hardly wait?!"

But this year.  This year it's more of a pleading.  A "How long do we have to wait?  I don't know if I can do this another day, let alone another week.  Come, Lord Jesus. Why are you taking so long?"

My oldest daughter and I just finished reading the Harry Potter series together.  I loved them even more this time, reading them with her.  The 7th book was especially meaningful, and I love that we read it during advent.  There is a scene that caused those close tears to fall and my voice to catch so much I had to pause. My daughter looked at me when I did, both of us lying there in my bed.  She just looked up at me, and I smiled while the tears fell and said, "This is life. This is what keeps us going."  She smiled and nodded, and we read on.

A hundred dementors were advancing, gliding toward them, sucking their way closer to Harry's despair, which was like a promise of a feast . . .

He saw Ron's silver terrier burst into the air, flicker feebly, and expire; he saw Hermione's otter twist in midair and fade; and his own wand trembled in his hand, and he almost welcomed the oncoming oblivion, the promise of nothing, of no feeling . . .

And then a silver hare, a boar, and a fox soared past Harry, Ron, and Hermione's heads: The dementors fell back before the creatures' approach.  Three more people had arrived out of the darkness to stand beside them, their wands outstretched, continuing to cast their Patronuses: Luna, Ernie, and Seamus.

"That's right," said Luna encouragingly, as if they were back in the Room of Requirement and this was simply spell practice for the D.A. "That's right, Harry . . . come on, think of something happy . . ."

"Something happy?" he said, his voice cracked.

"We're all still here," she whispered, "we're still fighting. Come on, now . . ."

There was a silver spark, then a wavering light, and then, with the greatest effort it had ever cost him, the stag burst forth from the end of Harry's wand . . .                                    {Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, p649}

This has been a year, friends.  Mine started with my dad in surgery to remove cancer from his body.  Along the way between then and now, friends' parents have been lost, jobs have been taken, pregnancies have been deemed "high risk," Beirut, Paris, San Bernadino, Colorado, Oregon, airplanes have been blown out of the sky, and, just last week, a friend's 17-year-old daughter committed suicide.

Life is wearying, and this advent feels like more of a lament than a joy.

As the pastor said during last week's funeral, this in between is a hard place to live.  

It is, isn't it?  This in between when Jesus was born and died and resurrected and ascended and when Jesus comes again to set everything right can feel like hell on earth.  It feels never ending, and I worry sometimes that it may be all consuming.  This might be the death of us.

At least that's how it feels.

But then, there's someone there. Someone who stands next to me and whispers, "Did you see God right there?" Someone who lifts me up and helps me stand. Someone who says, "We're still here. And we're still fighting."

And then there's Hope.  

I was asked on Friday what is my happiness. "If you really knew me, you would know my happiness is . . ."

And my answer was, "Hope." 

My happiness is Hope.  This year, in the midst of all this darkness and fighting and lamenting and crying I quit taking my antidepressant. The main reason was crazy, foolish even perhaps.  But I also wanted to see if I could do it.  And so far I have.  Because my happiness is Hope.  It's seeing a glimmer of God, of His people fighting, of all of us together lamenting His advent.

On Friday I was also challenged to share my happiness.  So . . . I give you Hope.  I wish for you, in whatever your lament, Hope.  Deep-seated, rooted somewhere you can't even see Hope.

Reviewing: Taming the To-Do List

Taming the To-Do List: How to choose your best work every day
by Glynnis Whitwer

I am a busy girl.  Or am I?  Yes, I do a lot of things.  But are they my best things?  And am I actually busy with them, or am I just making myself busy with other things so I don’t have to do them? 

These are the questions Whitwer asks and addresses in her book.  Because I’m busy (which I’m starting to think is not true and is definitely not God’s intention for my life), my review of it is coming later than it was supposed to.  And because I get these books and have to read them quickly to review them, I don’t have time to really dig into them like I want to and need to do in order to really apply their truths and declare them useful or not worth your time. All that said, Taming Your To-Do List is exactly what I need. Because those questions are at the start and at the end of each of my days . . . and in the middle too.

I’m finding myself obligated to do things I don’t want to do and am not certain I should.  I’m finding myself behind in things I want to do and feel like I should.  I’m finding myself unable to sit down and enjoy a few moments of solitude because of all the things I should be doing.  I’m not present where I need to be when I need to be, and everything I do feels like another opportunity for guilt.

Something’s got to give. 

And that’s what Whitwer is writing about.  From her personal experiences with procrastination and “busyness” and obligation and calling, she draws real-life examples, goals that are achievable, and practical applications that remind you to make room for what is important and good and right.

I know you’re busy.  We’re all busy.  But the truth might be that we’re too busy not to read this book.  I know I am.

Disclosure: I received this book at no charge from Revell through the Revell Reads Blog Tour Program in exchange for my honest review.  The opinions I have expressed are my own, and I was not required to write a positive review.  I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255.

Reviewing: Murder at the Courthouse

by A. H. Gabhart

Murder at the Courthouse is intended to be a small-town, cozy mystery.  On this, Gabhart both succeeds and falls short.

Small-town fiction tends to be heavy on character development—quirks, gossips, kind-hearted souls, and the like.  Gabhart gets that nearly perfect.  Her characters really become people to whom you feel connected, even after “knowing” them for such a short time.  This is especially important in a series which hopes to build on those characters and our affinity for them.  Courthouse is the first in “A Hidden Springs Mystery” series.  It is published by Revell so is a Christian book, but it isn’t overt or preachy, which I appreciate.

Where Gabhart fell short was on the mystery end.  It is a cozy, and I love cozies.  However, from the moment the body is found, Gabhart failed to bury any of her clues enough to keep me guessing.  The only reason I wasn’t positive who had committed the murders was because I kept telling myself it couldn’t be as obvious as it was.  Instead, every page left me more convinced as clues were left in the open.  I solved the crime faster than the hero, Deputy Michael Keane and wasn’t left guessing about anything, including the motive.

Overall, though the lack of mystery and even lightly hidden clues was disappointing, this early introduction to the characters (both living and dead) may bring me back for more of Hidden Springs.  But it won’t be at the top of my mystery list.

Disclosure: I received this book free from Revell through the Revell Reads Blog Tour program.  The opinions I have expressed are my own, and I was not required to write a positive review.  I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255.

A Letter of Apology

A letter of apology, to my oldest daughter--

Dear one, I owe you an apology.  And I am very, very sorry.

There are so many places where I fall short in the eyes of the world or in the eyes I see in the mirror.

I am afraid when I should be brave.  I don't write enough.  Our house gets messy, and I fall behind on the laundry.  You know I hate to cook, so we eat out too much.  I have trouble saving our money, and we have more debt than we should.  I don't work out enough.  I eat too much ice cream.  I stay up too late.  And I sleep in too long.  I watch more TV than is healthy, and I let you do the same.  I don't spend as much time with Daddy as he deserves.  I choose other things over spending time in prayer and reading my Bible.  I yell at you for crazy things.  I have a hard time controlling my temper.  I don't like vegetables.

But somewhere along the line I did you a disservice.  Somewhere, somehow, I let you believe that those things are how I see myself.  I let you believe that I don't think I'm enough.  And then, that translated into you believing you aren't enough.

And, oh, my precious one.  You are.

You.

Are.

Enough.

You have those beautiful blue eyes and a great smile that makes them disappear.  I love your apple cheeks everyone says are mine.  You are smart and funny and caring.  You live up to your name because, like grace, you can make beauty out of ugly things.

I still remember when your preschool friend Lily's baby brother died right after he was born.  You waited for Lily to come back to preschool, and when she did, you held her hand and sat by her.  Because she needed you.  You were three, Baby.  Three.  But that shouldn't be a surprise, because I remember how you looked at Jerry lying in his casket when you were less than one year old.  You probably thought he was sleeping, except you looked at him like you saw him differently than the rest of us did.  And then you turned to Miss Nancy, and you reached for her to give her the love you had tucked in your tiny baby heart.  And, just last month, I watched you work through your frustration to figure out how to draw an elephant just in case you needed to remind our family that you have their backs.  Nobody loves more than you do, honey.

I love how much you love Ivy and your friends and reading and messy rooms and Marie Grace and Trixie Belden and sleeping in and riding your bike and Paris and not working hard.  I love that you don't like to fly but you still want to see the world and go to France some day.  I love getting to know the beautiful young woman you are becoming.

And I am sorry for not telling you that enough.  Because I am proud of who you are.  I am proud of you.  And I am proud to be your mom.

You are enough, Baby Girl.  Enough.  And you always will be, no matter what.

I wish I could see myself through your eyes, and I wish you could see yourself through mine.  Then you would sit up tall.  And you would take on the world like a mighty warrior.  Like a beautiful, mighty warrior.  Like a girl who loves like no one else can.  And you would proud to be you.

Reviewing: Wild in the Hollow

Wild in the Hollow
by Amber C. Haines

Subtitled "On Chasing DESIRE & Finding the Broken Way HOME," Wild in the Hollow is at times memoir and at others rambling essay.  I mean that in the best way possible.  Amber C. Haines's prose isn't always easy to follow, but hang in there--what she's saying is worth hearing.  And it's all beautiful.

Wild in the Hollow follows Haines's literal journey from her roots in the hollows of Alabama to her small house with acreage in Arkansas.  It also details her spiritual journey, lived through addiction and running from God to the ache of loneliness in the middle of a marriage and the art of pursuing His heart in the midst of personal dreams.  And with Haines's "soulful" way of writing, it's all stated matter-of-factly with no judgment and full transparency.

I enjoyed both journeys.  And I enjoyed seeing my own journey to find "home" in the pages.  As Haines reveals the culmination of her journey (to this point anyway) in her life, her marriage, her church, her friendships, her faith, and her parenting, I found myself in there as well.

Nobody writes like Amber C. Haines.  I'm telling you--even the acknowledgements contain nuggets I want to never forget.  She writes beautifully and vividly and honestly.


Disclosure: I received this book free through the Revell Reads Blog Tour program in exchange for my honest review.  I was not required to read a positive review, and all opinions expressed are my own.  I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255.

Reviewing: Last Chance Hero

Last Chance Hero
by Cathleen Armstrong

The fourth installment in Cathleen Armstrong's A Place to Call Home series, Last Chance Hero, tells the story of Jess, a young doctor who moves to Last Chance to open a rural medical practice, and Andy, former Last Chance football hero turned high school football coach.  It's a sweet romance in its truest form without feeling cheesy or contrived.

I chose to read this book because I'm intrigued by small-town relationships and drawing faith into fiction without making it preachy.  Armstrong does both very well.  She paints characters vividly with dialogue--from long paragraphs that are spoken quickly to a daily joke that is at once simple and profound--and description.  Though this was my first visit to Last Chance, I left feeling like I knew the characters well.  And, I left feeling encouraged in my faith even when things don't go according to my own plans.

Without saying too much and ruining one of the story lines, I do wish Armstrong had given us more of one of the characters and had devoted more of her page to him.  At the same time, every word he is given paints him--and God's grace--vividly.


Disclosure: I received this book free through the Revell Reads program in exchange for my honest review.  I was not required to write a positive review, and all opinions expressed are my own.  I am disclosing this in compliance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255.

Reviewing Warrior Chicks

Warrior Chicks: Rising strong when life wants to take you down

By Holly Wagner

Life is hard.  Sometimes it’s big events—cancer, a death in the family, divorce—other times it’s the day-to-day living.  Whether it’s one big thing or a hundred small things, sometimes it seems like life truly does want to take us down.  And then we have two choices: go down or rise strong.

Wagner, founder of the GodChick ministry, wrote Warrior Chicks several years ago in response to her own personal journey through one of life’s big events.  Revell re-released the book this year, and this was my first experience with it. 

After 18 months of “big events” in my own life, coupled with the day-to-day living of working nearly full time, trying to pursue my own dreams in life, being a wife to an employee and grad student and a mother to three girls—the oldest with anxiety, the middle with a sensory processing disorder, and the youngest full of extreme stubbornness—and selling our house and moving into another, I am both exhausted and feeling down for the count.  In that frame of mind, I was excited to get this book and fought for time to sit down and read it.  In some ways I wasn’t disappointed.  In others, I feel a bit let down.

Warrior Chicks is written in what I call “blog” format.  The paragraphs are mostly one to two sentences long.  Wagner includes in them motivational thoughts and words but not a lot of new information.  It really seems more like a speech or a rallying cry and less like tips or support in how to actually rise strong.  It provides you with the want to and the inspiration but not the training you might need, though Wagner does address the need for this physical, emotional, and spiritual training.  For me, the format was difficult to get through.  When I could finally look past that, I did finish the book feeling inspired.

The cover of the book has boxing gloves (pink, of course).  Warrior Chicks isn’t going to be the daily training a boxer needs to make it into the ring or the muscles and body building required, but it will be the pep talk in the corner after each round to get you back out there, ready to keep fighting.

Disclosure: I was given this book free by Revell Reads Blog Tour Program.  The opinions I have expressed are my own, and I was not required to write a positive review.  I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255.

Reviewing: Untangled

Untangled: Let God Loosen the Knots of Insecurity in Your Life

By Carey Scott

I'm not good enough. I'm not smart enough. I need to be skinnier, prettier, funnier. 

Life is full of "not enoughs" and "-ers" that will tangle us up into a knotted mess. In Untangled, Carey Scott shares her own life's journey--and the journeys of other women--as they step back and allow God to untangle the knots into smooth cords of beauty. We weren't created to focus on the ways we fall short. And we weren't created to compare ourselves to the women around us who might be better cooks, chaperones, athletes, mothers, wives, employees--the list goes on and on. 

We have one standard, and one place from which to draw our worth, and there is great news!

He thinks you're amazing. 

And He wants you to see that too. In Untangled, He gave Carey the words to share practical ways to break through the lies and the ways Satan tries to tangle even our good desires. Carey offers stories, strategies, Scripture references, practical questions, and a prayer to help women navigate marriage, singleness, motherhood, friendship, work, and even social media. This book will have a treasured spot on my nightstand as I pray through my day with the reminder that I truly am worthy of love...just because God created me that way. 

I received this book from Revell through the Revell Reads Blog Tour program in exchange for my honest thoughts. I was not required to write a positive review. 

Reviewing: Desperate Measures

Desperate Measures

By Sandra Orchard

This is book three in Sandra Orchard’s Port Aster Secrets series.  It might be worth noting at the outset that I did not read books one and two.  In spite of my coming in rather “in the middle” (or “closer to the end,” it seems) I thought this was a good book.  The romance that began in earlier books between Kate and Tom continues, but it doesn’t do so from a place that one would be lost without knowing their history.  Orchard also brings her new readers up to speed on the mystery that has traveled throughout the series.

While the mystery wasn’t necessarily gripping for me (maybe greater investment comes from reading the entire series), the characters are written well enough to draw in the reader and make us care.  In addition, Orchard creates suspense where it is lacking by leaving the reader guessing about who to trust.  Her method of telling the story in an alternating fashion between Tom and Kate makes this possible.

My biggest complaint is with the romance.  Orchard writes the ups and downs in Tom and Kate’s relationship rather than making them meet, fall madly in love, and enjoy a rosy future together.  That was a good thing.  But for much of this book, Kate alternates between furious with Tom (and rightly so, given some of the things he did) and wishing they were together.  As a reader, I do understand the resolution for them it felt a bit contrived and tidier than it should have done.  Finally, there is a minor character Orchard dropped completely.  He has a history in Port Aster—one that may have been included in the other books but I was able to easily piece it together—and I wish I knew more about his future.

I received this book free from Revell through the Revell Reads Blog Tour Program in exchange for my honest review.  The views I have expressed are my own, and I was not required to write a positive response.

Reviewing: Laugh Out Loud Pocket Doodles for Girls

Laugh Out Loud Pocket Doodles for Girls

By Rob Elliott (author) and Jonny Hawkins (illustrator)

Since this book recently available from Revell is meant for girls under 12, I turned it over to one of my three girls who fits that age.  Well, the truth is I turned it over to all of them, but the middle one claimed it as hers and never looked back.  I told her she’d have to blog her review of it since she stole it.  Even that didn’t make her give it up.  So she’s next to me on the sofa—I’m merely the typist here and only because I’m faster.

(From Megan, age 7)

This book is so funny!  I like this book because it fits me—because I’m crazy, and it is too.  There are crazy jokes like “What’s a wolf’s favorite book?”  (The answer is “Little Howl on the Prairie.”)  It isn’t just jokes either.  There are riddles and doodles you can finish and color.  It means a lot to a girl who likes to have fun.

(From Mom, age older than 7)

Meg LOVED this book.  As soon as she opened it she was cracking up at the jokes and making us laugh with them too.  She is also an artsy girl, and the doodles are fun for her.  They also get her mind going.  It’s hard to imagine her being bored with this book in her hand on a long car ride or a rainy day. 

Revell and Amazon note Laugh Out Loud Pocket Doodles for Girls is meant for girls ages 9-12.  My daughter is obviously 7, and she loves it.  Some of the jokes go over her head but not many.  I would say you could expand down a few years to include the 2^nd and 3^rd graders in your life as well.  This book is a great alternative to the “I’m bored—can I play on a screen” chorus of summer.


I received this book free from Revell through the Revell Reads Blog Tour Program in exchange for my honest review.  The views I have expressed are my own, and I was not required to write a positive response.

Reviewing: Buried Secrets

Buried Secrets
by Irene Hannon

Buried Secrets is the first in Irene Hannon’s new series about the three McGregor brothers, all members of elite military branches.  Mac McGregor, the oldest brother, has stepped down from life as a Navy SEAL and is easing into a new role as a county detective.  Similarly, Lisa Grant is ready for a quieter existence than what she experienced as a detective in Chicago’s homicide division.  She is now the chief of police in a small town in Missouri.  When human bones are unearthed, Lisa’s and Mac’s paths cross as they partner to solve the decades-old mystery.

The premise of Buried Secrets was very promising to me.  I enjoy detective stories—I like to see how the detectives interact with each other, how the evidence is discovered and the clues are planted, and how the good guys take down the bad guys.  This is a romantic suspense, however, so the crime and its solving take a backseat to the romantic sparks flying between Mac and Lisa.  As each chapter unfolds, Hannon moves from a third person focus on Mac to a third person focus on Lisa.  This allows a glimpse inside Mac’s head and Lisa’s—the dual focus can be appealing to people who enjoy romances and like to see how men think (though, written by a woman it’s hard to know if this is actually how men think). 

It was entertaining enough.  Since I prefer my mysteries with a side of romance rather than the other way around, it took me a while to get into the book.  I had to slog through the mutual attraction and the “we can’t be together because we work together” until I got to the meat of the mystery.  Once I was there, I really enjoyed the way Hannon broke it down.  Because of the prologue, we never truly wonder who buried the bones.  In a way that made the story interesting—instead of trying to guess who did it, I got to wonder how they would be caught, and I got to enjoy that process.  For lovers of romantic suspense, I can see that this is a well-written book and would recommend it for them.  For lovers of crime fiction, it’s probably worth the read as long as you don’t mind romance in the form of lingering looks, fingers accidentally brushing, and racing hearts.

Disclosure: I received this book free from Revell through the Revell Reads (http://bakerpublishinggroup.com/revell/revell-reads) program. The opinions I have expressed are my own, and I was not required to write a positive review. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 http://www.access.gpo.gov/nara/cfr/waisidx_03/16cfr255_03.html.

Reviewing: A Glorious Dark

A Glorious Dark: Finding Hope in the Tension Between Belief and Experience
A.J. Swoboda

When I read a book, be it fiction or nonfiction, and I come across something that strikes me—a turn of phrase or an important point—I fold the corner of the page over, marking that spot.  Then, when I’m finished with the book, I go back to that page, reread it, and see if something strikes me again.  If it does, I must have really meant it, and I underline it. 

In A Glorious Dark, I had 23 pages folded over.  In a 15-chapter book.  And I almost skipped the folding over and went straight to the underlining.

A.J. Swoboda has a way with words.  He mixes humor with heartfelt vulnerability and thought-provoking seriousness, and he does it all against a backdrop of Good Friday, Easter Sunday, and the in-between Saturday. 

It has been said, “It’s Friday, but Sunday is coming.”  That is almost always spoken to move us quickly from the trauma, the sadness, the fear of Jesus’ death and into the celebration of His resurrection.  And Swoboda does start with Good Friday.  He starts with Jesus’ death, and he asks us to sit there in the numbness of it.  But then he doesn’t rush from that into the joy and celebration.  He calls us to pause and fully enter in to Saturday first.  Saturday, when Jesus had been killed and was dead in the tomb.  Saturday, when nobody knew Sunday was coming.  Saturday, when it seems like my life is falling apart, and I can’t even find a friend let alone God.  Saturday, where we live a good portion of our lives.  Saturday, where Jesus may have lain dead in a tomb but, just like a river in the winter, there is a glorious dark underneath.

I have truly never read a book like this.  It is with regret that I can only recommend A Glorious Dark to anyone who reads this review, and I can’t actually go out and buy a copy for every one of my friends, my family members, and people I don’t even know very well.


 Disclosure: I received this book free from Baker Books through the Baker Books Bloggers www.bakerbooks.com/bakerbooksbloggers program. The opinions I have expressed are my own, and I was not required to write a positive review. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 http://www.access.gpo.gov/nara/cfr/waisidx_03/16cfr255_03.html.

Reviewing: The A to Z Guide to Bible Signs & Symbols

The A to Z Guide to Bible Signs & Symbols: Understanding Their Meaning and Significance
by Neil Wilson and Nancy Ryken Taylor

The subtitle of this book is "Understanding Their Meaning and Significance," and therein lies the beauty of this book. It is certainly not the easiest book to just pick up and read, from page 1 through the end, but I think it is an important book for every Christian's shelf.

Very few of us have the calling to attend seminary (or the desire to sit and read commentaries), so our understanding of the meaning and significance of the signs and symbols in the Bible is limited to sermons presented by our pastors who have done the studying. And, because there is so much to get from those Sunday or midweek sermons, we run short on time to truly soak in the significance of a symbol or a sign found scattered throughout the Bible. That leaves most of us with little to no knowledge of what was packed into the Scripture--things that will enrich not only our understanding of God's word for us but also our faith.

Enter The A to Z Guide to Bible Signs & Symbols. Neil Wilson and Nancy Ryken Taylor have compiled a user-friendly resource rich with examples and references from the Old Testament to the New Testament. From the cross to darkness to quail to wind--and everything in between--Wilson and Ryken Taylor break down the sign or the symbol, explain its significance (either positive or negative), and challenge the believer to learn from its inclusion. I'm thrilled to have this reference on my bookshelf to enhance my personal devotions, and I recommend it for everyone who wants to dig a bit deeper.

Disclosure: I received this book free from Baker Books through the Baker Books Bloggerswww.bakerbooks.com/bakerbooksbloggers program. The opinions I have expressed are my own, and I was not required to write a positive review. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255.

Reviewing: 30 Events That Shaped the Church

30 Events That Shaped the Church: Learning from Scandal, Intrigue, War, and Revival
by Alton Gansky

How can one not eagerly pick up a book with a subtitle like that?!  I love to learn from scandal and intrigue!  I'm happy to report that Gansky's book did not disappoint.  There was scandal and intrigue and war and revival . . . and a lot in between.

I can't even imagine how many years Gansky spent researching the 30 events he chose to include in this book, but each hour is obvious.  While this book was interesting and a fairly quick read, it could certainly serve as a starting point for further research into any of the events he mentioned.  In fact, I often thought, "If my kids ever need to write about the history of the church, this is the perfect primer for them."  From obvious events like Pentecost to the less obvious "Rise of the Neo-Evangelicals," every one of the 30 chapters can stand alone while also flowing from one to the next in a cohesive timeline.  Gansky often refers back to another chapter as he's explaining a new event.  Then, in the end, he ties the rise of atheism back to the birth of the church and offers hope that we can again come through these current days stronger and more unified.

Through this journey from AD 30 to the present day I found my faith sharpened and reaffirmed.  It was fun to read about the birth of Protestantism and see where the church I love today--and the Church I love today--got its start and has been forced to change and grow in order to stay alive . . . and where it refused to compromise.  This book is a great journey for the seasoned follower of Christ, the new believer, and everyone in between.  I think it would also be great for an adult Sunday School as it would spur conversation and a critical look at where we were, where are now, and where we need to go.


Disclosure: I received this book free from Baker Books through the Baker Books Bloggers program.  The opinions I have expressed are my own, and I was not required to write a positive review.  I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255.

Reviewing: The Crimson Cord

The Crimson Cord: Rahab's Story
by Jill Eileen Smith

The concept for this book is an interesting one.  It is a deeper look at the story of Rahab.  She merits only a few verses in the Bible but also earns a spot in Jesus' lineage . . . so what is her story?  Obviously we can't know for sure.  So Jill Eileen Smith imagines a tale for her--how did she become a prostitute, what was that life like for her, how did she come to know the Israelite spies and save them, and how did she end up married to an Israelite and the great-great (several times) grandmother of Jesus?

It's always fun to speculate and add meat to stories with few details and eternal impact.  So the concept is interesting.  Unfortunately, I found the delivery to be lacking.  Smith does a decent enough job creating sympathy for Rahab.  She also creates multidimensional characters in Salmon, Rahab's younger sister, and Joshua and his wife, Eliana.  Beyond that, Smith asks the reader to suspend disbelief a little more than is fair.  She uses various stories from different parts of the Bible and builds them into Rahab's story.  Because the Bible doesn't put them there it is distracting to have them and other random lines from Scripture tucked into places where they don't belong.  Rahab's transition from a prostitute into a follower of Adonai borders on realistic but falls flat in the end, as does her official entrance into such a holy family tree.

One final note.  Because these stories take us into a time we can only otherwise read about in our Bibles, they invite us to witness events that have built the foundation of our faith.  To that end, there was one line that jumped out at me and made this otherwise flat story worth my time.  Seeing these events come to life--even in an unbelievable, disappointing, and at times distracting way--serves as a reminder that through all the events of our lives God is worth trusting.  As Rahab herself reasons: ". . . If Israel truly gained victory over the warriors of Jericho . . . there was no reason to doubt a God who could part the Red Sea."


Disclosure: I received this book free from Revell through the Revell Reads program. The opinions I have expressed are my own, and I was not required to write a positive review. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255.

The Ultimate Cheat

We've been on sort of a hardcore diet for the past week.  I don't actually prescribe to dieting per se.  I believe that for weight loss to be sustainable it needs to be a lifestyle change.  I also don't believe losing weight should be the end goal.  That needs to be "healthy," and healthy comes in all shapes and sizes.

At the same time, healthy for me will mean, in part, losing weight.  Now, I know the theory behind losing weight and getting healthy: eat less (of the crappy food and oversized portions), eat more (of the right things), and move more (whether it's walking or running).

I get all that.

But, like many things (and many people), I struggle to put that theory in action.  So we came across The Doctor's Diet.  Dr. Travis Stork (yes, from The Doctors on TV, but also an ER doc at VanderBilt) put his own eating plan down on paper--it's high in veggies and healthy proteins and healthy carbs, and low in all those other things that taste great but make us gain weight, have low energy, and generally feel like junk.  Since I am the picky eater in the house, I looked through the menus he suggests for his two-week STAT plan and for his two-week RESTORE plan.  And then I looked at what I got to eat when I was done with that four-week cycle and had finally reached the holy pinnacle of My Goal Weight.  That's the MAINTAIN plan.  And it all looked doable.  And sensible.  And healthy.

So we kicked it off.

We've each had a cheat day (Thursday for both of us) where I did have ice cream.  And it was too big, and I felt like garbage after.  And not from guilt either.  I don't prescribe to guilt.  I'm a Romans 8:1 girl.  Beau noticed on his cheat day that he felt run down by afternoon, something he didn't feel the rest of the week while he was eating on the plan.  Imagine that.  The veggies and healthful carbs and protein works!  (And, incidentally, they actually taste good.  Imagine my surprise in enjoying a variety of beans, an avocado, guacamole sans onions, AND grapefruit?!  Not all together, though.  That still sounds gross.)

We also woke up this morning 9 pounds down (for Beau) and 7 pounds down (for me).  Which is exciting and horrifying all at once.  Exciting: the plan is working.  Horrifying: we were really eating like garbage before.

Anyway, today is Sunday.  It's Super Bowl Sunday, so we carefully chose the cheats we wanted for the party we're attending tonight and are looking forward to enjoying fellowship and some (carefully excessive) eating.  But first, we went to church.

Not only is today Sunday, today is Communion Sunday at our church.  We sat through the bulk of the service--a baptism, crying kids, offering, snippets of the sermon caught through chatting and wiggly kids--and then it was time for communion.  I learned a cool way of thinking about communion recently, so I was definitely looking forward to it this morning.  That time of toasting Jesus' memory, thanking Him for His love and His sacrifice . . .

Still, I wasn't prepared for the actual act of putting that little piece of white bread in my mouth today.

You guys.  Aside from two whole grain English muffins, I have not had a piece of bread in over a week.  And I certainly haven't had a hunk of pure, refined carb, zero nutritional value, white bread.  That thing was good.  My teeth sank into it.  I crushed it between my tongue and the roof of my mouth.  And for a moment I was in heaven.

Then I chuckled.

And in my head I said, "God, that was a great cheat.  Thank you."

And then I thought about it for a moment while the elders gathered the trays of grape juice, and I sat in anticipation of the taste of that juice--the first time drinking something other than water or tea in a week--passing across my taste buds and trickling its happy, sweet goodness down my throat.

And I whispered, right out loud, "Let it always be like this, God.  Let it always feel like a refreshing, I have missed you for so long, thank you for this gift, cheat.  Because, in the end, that's what it represents."

Death should have been mine.  That's where I was headed.  But Jesus cheated that for me.

Praise be my Rock!

Empowered Through Pain

It's been an interesting 14 months for the Bierenga family.  I've alluded to some of our family's journey here and here and again here.  I have wrestled over the last year with how much to write, whether to write, and what to really say.  In the end, I still haven't written.  I know I will, because that's what I do.  But I still need a little more space to really climb into it.

At the same time, something settled in my brain on Monday that I have to share.  Then it will feel real, and public, and permanent (remember, that's true about the internet).

Monday dawned dark and early, and I was in a bed at my parents' house.  My parents were on their way out the door.  I needed to shower so my sister and I could join them in a curtained room in the surgical prep area of Hackley Hospital in Muskegon.  The morning was freezing cold, and we shivered our way to the hospital before the sun was even considering breaking the horizon.  We found my parents in the last "room" on our left.  Dad was lying in the bed, and Mom was sitting on a chair next to him.  We spent our time there together, just the four of us, for the first time in years really, now that Sara and I are married and have five kids between us.  We were together while the nurse prepped Dad, while the anesthesiologist talked with him, while Sara prayed for Dad and the surgeons and the cancer to go away, while the surgeon checked in with him, while the surgeon prayed for the surgery team, while I read a sad note from a friend whose battle with cancer is nearing its final days, while we laughed and took pictures and read comments from friends who are praying.

And then it was time for the team to walk him to the Operating Room.  Nearly eight years ago, my dad left for Iraq.  That goodbye was hard.  That goodbye was for 400 days and thousands of miles and time zones and bombs and war.  That was the hardest goodbye I've ever had with my dad.  This one nestled right up against it.  So much was riding on that bed.  My daddy was riding on that bed.  And how do you kiss him goodbye hoping and uncertain and wishing and dreaming and desperately loving?  We did it.

While we were waiting in the Family Waiting Area (while "The 700 Club" played on TV, so that wasn't super helpful), we all tried to occupy ourselves.  Sara worked on a training for work.  Mom read Facebook and played Candy Crush and Words with Friends.  I read a book for the Baker Bloggers Program.  And while I was reading, while the surgeons were collecting samples of my dad's insides for biopsy, while hundreds of people around the country were praying, while we were trying to distract ourselves, it hit me.

I was reading the section entitled "Experiencing God's Presence in Suffering, Loss, and Pain."  Kevin Harney wrote:

Suffering is suffering.  It is ours as we walk through it.  It invariably leads to tears, sorrow, heartache, and struggle.  It usually comes unannounced and we rarely know when it will leave.
Most of all, suffering can crush our faith or strengthen it.  The decision is ours.  Will I cling to Jesus through my pain and with tears streaming down my face?  Or will I turn my back and walk away from the only One who can carry me through?  Will I curse God or bless his name even if my teeth are clenched in agony as I worship?  Will I let the presence and power of God fill me to overflowing when I have nothing left to give, or will I seek to make it through in my own strength?
Powerful people seek to face suffering by relying on their own reserve of strength and tenacity.
The powerless throw in the towel as soon as the winds shift, long before the roof comes crashing down.
But the empowered hold the hand of Jesus and let his strength and presence carry them through the tempest of suffering, loss, and pain.  The empowered know that they can't weather the storms life will bring, but that the Maker of heaven and earth can place them under his wings and shelter them no matter what comes their way.

I read that, and then I looked up at my mom and my big sister, and I said, "I'm empowered.  And I'm empowered because we're empowered.  That's what you and Dad taught us."  And it's true.

Our faith isn't perfect.  My grandparents made their mistakes, but they instilled in my mom a faith that is her own.  And through their own struggles and journeys and heartaches my parents have given me a faith in the Maker of heaven and earth and His shelter and peace.

Just over 19 years ago, I left home.  I moved to a secular college because I wanted to forget my parents' faith and find my own.  During that time I made mistakes, and I said and did some hurtful things in my "enlightenment."  But I worked hard to build my faith.  And now there I was.  Sitting in a nondescript and uncomfortable waiting room while my dad underwent cancer surgery, and I realized that the faith I have is now my own, but it's also my parents'.   I'm empowered by the presence of God in the midst of my pain and suffering.  But every single day of the journey we have walked since November 2013 I have seen the same empowering written in my parents' words.  It's been in their strength, in their hope, in their peace, in their prayers.  That didn't change when Zack died.  It didn't change when my dad was pushed into retirement.  It didn't change when our house was broken into.  It didn't change when Dad was told he had cancer.  It didn't change while we waited in that room together.  It didn't change today when we were told that my dad's lymph nodes and all margins of his prostate are clear of cancer.  And I know without a doubt that it wouldn't have changed if we had been told his body was riddled with the disease.

Harney goes on to talk about being "propelled onward by the call and mission of God."  He says that our journey of faith is not really any different than Abraham's when he was still called Abram and he followed an unknown God from the land of his family into a new land where God would build His kingdom.  "Who follows God like this?" Harney writes.  "Abraham and Sarah.  Peter and Andrew.  You and me.  We hear his call.  He leads us on a mission day-by-day and moment-by-moment.  We go, not knowing where it will lead us but trusting the God who calls us to follow him."

And we do.  The journey might lead us through betrayal.  It might lead us through the valley of the shadow of death.  It might lead us through cancer or job loss or the breakdown of a family.  But through all of that, the good and the bad, through the pain and the joy, we live with a tenacious faith that knows "God can see the end of the road even when [we] can't."

Thanks, Mom and Dad.  Thanks for lending me your faith when I was a little girl.  Thanks for letting me go off and try to build my own faith.  And thanks for letting me find a faith that was yours all along.

Reviewing: Empowered By His Presence

Empowered By His Presence: Receiving the Strength You Need Each Day
by Kevin G. Harney

Wow.  This is a great book.  The format, the content, the application--all of it is a wonderful tool for the Christian's journey.

Kevin Harney breaks this book down into a four-week devotional journey (for individuals, small groups, or churches) consisting of a short reading six days a week and a "for further study" portion that can be broken down throughout the week or used for more in-depth study and discussion on the 7th day.  In his introduction, Harney discusses power, its origins in our lives, and its usefulness in our lives.  He also notes there are three types of people: powerful, powerless, and empowered.  Our goal as Christians is to live lives that are empowered by the presence of God and the Holy Spirit.

Through each of the four sections--"Experiencing God's Presence in Suffering, Loss, and Pain"; "Encountering God in the Community of His People"; "Empowered for the Journey by Receiving God's Rest"; and "Propelled Onward by the Call and Mission of God"--Harney tells a story of someone in the Bible and often someone from current times to demonstrate the empowering of God for each step of everyday life.  He then concludes every day's reading with a description of how the powerful, powerless, and empowered individual would respond in that situation.

I found these descriptions to be incredibly helpful.  I tend to be self-critical and read books like this from a place of exhaustion recognizing (and quickly becoming overwhelmed by) all the steps I have to take to "arrive" at some impossible pinnacle of piety.  In reading Empowered, I found each day's reading to be in turns challenging and affirming and encouraging.  Then, reading the descriptions I was able to find myself in each reading and note where I need to work to deepen my dependence on God and His power for my day.  Sometimes I was surprised to see where I fell; other times I was encouraged.  Every time I was challenged by the faith of those who have gone before me and the desire to rest in God's power to meet the needs in my own life and in those around me.  The best news of all is that this power exists and is available to each of us . . . and it is the same power and spirit that dwelt within Christ and empowered Him for His daily journey.


Disclosure: I received this book free from Baker Books through the Baker Books Bloggers (www.bakerbooks.com/bakerbooksbloggers) program.  The opinions I have expressed are my won, and I was not required to write a positive review.  I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255 (http://www.access.gpo.gov/nara/cfr/waisidx_03/16cfr255_03.html).

Reviewing: Hidden Agenda

Hidden Agenda
by Lisa Harris

This is the third installment in Lisa Harris's Southern Crimes series.  I haven't read the first two books, but this series is an interesting one.  Instead of following only one main character in her books, Harris introduces us to the Hunt family--book one is about one daughter, book two is about another, and book three is about their brother.  All of the family members are in one way or another connected to law enforcement, and the books--"Romantic Suspense," a genre which is new to me--tell their love stories against a backdrop of suspense and action.

Because I received this book from Revell to review I didn't know much about it or the series walking into it.  As I mentioned, "Romantic Suspense" is a new genre to me.  This left me wrestling through much of the book as to whether it was a love story with a crime or whether it was a crime story with a romance.  Now that I understand Harris was trying to write a love story set against elements of crime and suspense, I do think she did a good job.

Hidden Agenda takes place over only a few days.  In that time, and through use of memories and flashbacks, Harris manages to develop two characters about whom the reader can care and in whom the reader can invest.  The characters wrestle with trust and regret, and this is well fleshed out despite the pace of the novel.  Given the short time frame in which the story is set, however, I did feel the romance was a bit unrealistic in its development. For lovers of romance, though, it was a sweet love story tucked into some intrigue.

In addition to this character development, there are moral ambiguities I always enjoy finding in books I read.  The reader can question how he or she (most likely she, for a book like this) would respond when faced with similar decisions, and this was laid out well without being in any way preachy.  The family dynamic in the Hunt family is also one that is lovely to see and had me in tears at times.  I also appreciated that things weren't neatly tied up in a bow at the end.  There is still more to be worked out.

I'm addressing the "crime" and "thriller" aspects of this book last, because that's what it seems the book did as well.  The crimes needed to happen in order for Michael and Olivia to be thrown together in a way that they can have their character and relationship arcs.  Because of this, the suspense wasn't intense, and my heart wasn't pounding.  I did wonder how things would come out, how the bad guys seemed to always be one step ahead, and who could be trusted (which ended up surprising me in the end), but it wasn't scary or truly thrilling.

All in all, I would recommend Hidden Agenda to people who enjoy romance with a deeper plot than the "will they or won't they" that is typical of so many romances.  I can also say that I added Dangerous Passage and Fatal Exchange to my "to read" list, because I am interested to spend more time with the Hunt family.  I hope, too, that Harris writes more books in the Southern Crimes series so we can revisit Michael and Olivia as background characters.


Disclosure: I received this book free from Revell through the Revell Reads Blog Tour program (http://bakerpublishinggroup.com/revell/revell-reads).  The opinions I have expressed are my own, and I was not required to write a positive review.  I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255 (www.access.gpo.gov/nara/cfr/waisidx_03/16cfr255_03.html).